life in SAF

Sigh.
Its one of those days in the office when u just wanna sit around and do nothing. but simply can't because your boss is breathing down your back and you're supposedly harworking.
Jonathan!!"! My Chief Clerk screams. I waltz over in hopes to appear cheerful on a dreadfully blue monday. "Wat's 47 +23??" i feel my half-dead brain slowly begin to whir and churn in order to answer her hideously complicated question. "Is it 70?" she asks again in a half dazed manner.
WAT?!!? i think to myself. One thing i cannot stand is the fact that people can ask u a question and then give u the answer on the spot. If by some amazing revelation u know the answer to YOUR question. Then please do not toture me with hideously complicated questions on a detrimentally blue monday. If u ask me, its the equivalent of asking me if the color of a red-brick wall is the color of red bricks. It is obviously not. The color of a red brick wall is blue. Really. These people.

But of course, being unfortunately blessed to be working in the service side and even more fortunate to be of mediocre rank. I return a painful smile and say "Yes. It is 70....."and before i can complete my sentance she pops out. "Then wad is 56 + 2 + 17? Its 75 right?" she asks again. still in that half dazed stance.
OMG.... she did it again.. just like that!!!..

Being the typical Singapore Citizen with absolutely very little patience i reply her again. This time with a Can-you-please-stop-ans-your-own-questions sigh.

This actually carries on for quite a while, she asking and answering her own questions and me saying yes to everything. Finally she seems to be content and laughs happily. Oblivious to the fact that she had just tortured me for the past hour.

Ugh. Why they have sadistic women in the airforce is beyond my wildest imagination. Really,One fine day I'll come up with a thesis on it soon, most probably before i ORD. But not during the monsoon season.The rain is depressing.

I was hoping it would end there. For a very brief moment it did. Then it didn't. "How's the updating of data going?" "Erm... i think its absoulte bull manure and bird droppings." I resist the reply. "Its fine. Really.. only i think we're doing it wrong." Hmm??.. How so? Well, i then procede to explain to her the tedious procedures of the very advancely complicated filing system. And by the time i'm done i'm horribly out of breath and on the brink of exhaustion. She's lost completely in her own thoughts and her wrinkes are gathering like the folds on beadsheets. And mind u, its only a filing system. Then she happily replies me that yea, she wonderfully comprehends that its probably the wrong way to do it but i should just carry on.
"WHAT?!" i gap at her in amazement like a dead goldfish.

Another thing i can't stand is that people insist on doing things despite the fact that they know its heinously wrong. Its like climbing a coconut tree to search for mangos. But the punch line is you realise that its a coconut tree but u still insist on climbing it. Absurd.

"Aiyah.. mai hiam lah.. the most eat coconut loh dun eat mango.." My college replies me and shrugs his shoulders in a really-can't-be-bothered manner. Gosh. Why i even bother talking to people who haven't finished evolving is beyond me. He shd have just stayed in the stupid trees. Even better, he shouldn't have even left the seas. Which brings me to the point about evolution. I'm starting to believe the people who started this army buisness must haf evolved form ants. Its kinda like people who build dams probably came from beavers etc. The whole idea appeals to me. Only thing i don't believe in evoultion.

Sigh. I look at him in a your-logic-is-beyond-comprehension way and drop my shoulders in exsaperation. "So what do u suggest? Would u do it?" I ask. The moment the words left my mouth i knew it. Why.

There are many things that u say in a day. There are those beatiful greetings that warm people's hearts, meticolous comments which help people, crappy suggestions to brigthen somone's day and there are things which only after blabbering u wish u had never said. That question, apparantly fell in that very category.

"Just do loh. She say one mah." What a Lunatic. That was my verdict. What happened to school?? What happen to the times they taught u to think? What happened to the years of education ploughing through books like cattle and copying the homework?? What happened to all that??Just like that, as if it didn't exsist. You cease to think.

Sigh. I drag my already-badly-dragged-around shoes. "Would you be so kind as to let me redo the entire system? If it really isn't too much trouble." I look at her with every ounce of strength i have left in my straggly body. Oh no.

One thing I learnt in life. Never, Ever, EVER argue with women. Especially women in their forties and unmarried. You will not - and CANNOT - win.
"You free is it? Don't mind you type this out for me!" She dumps a wad of sheets on me, and leaves for her meeting. For that moment, I wished so hard I was permernantly mute.

your's Jon =D

Some background:Jonathan works in an office with a 23 year old gibbon like human, a 60-year old dinosaur, and an absolutely daft chief clerk who thinks that NSFs should be passionately serving the nation. Who are, all in all, nice people to work with. =)
This was written purely out of exasperation, as an outlet of my innermost frustration in trying to communicate to a gibbon. Any coincidental resemblance is deeply regretted, alongside the unforgivable speelling errrors. You can reply but refrain form killing me.