I need to know.

I need to know my heart is right.
I need to know that it is in Your will for me.

I'm so lost. So terrified.

What if i'm going to Thailand for the wrong reasons.

Having a burdern for Thaliand just doesn't seem good enough.
when I heard that it was Thailand, i was overjoyed. But when i heard it was Pattaya. And that it was a tourist attraction. And the whole idea of going to a tourist attraction and reaching out to China tourists, sounded abit off to me.

If it didn't sound right to me, how was i going to be accountable to people who were going to send me.

I told D about it. He laughed as if it was an absurd idea. To go to the Thailand and reach to tourists? locals would be fine and dandy. But tourists?

(I guess alot of you reading this, would have ran off by now. Its okay. i just need to ramble.)

I need to know its Your will. Lest i falter.

I want to be there to work for You.
And i'm afraid, what if, at the end of the day, I lose my head in the clouds.
And fail to see that its been You who has pulled me through all this.

I'm accountable to the people who have sent me there.
To the people who have kept me in their prayers.
To the team that will be there with me.
And mostly.
To a God who will judge me by the fruits of my labour.

I can't write the reason why i want to go for the mission trip. All i know was when the staff from Thailand came to me.
He told me this:"You dance very well.(I was flattered) You should come to Thailand to help. The people need God there."

They need You.
and so do I.