Resolutions
I think Christmas resolutions are in the rage nowadays.
(Simply because you only have to keep them for one silly month. and because new year ones never work.)
Here are my christmas resolutions:
1. Stop coming home at 3AM.
Been coming home at 3AM in the morning, if there's any good that actually does. It screws up your bio-clock, which in turn reduces your metabolic rate by a good 10% and makes u FAaAT.
AND Unless you're like somone i know who actually PRAYED to be fat. ho hum.
I never really wanted to come back at 3AM. One was a BBQ party with friends. Which was pretty ace cuz there was Alchohol(that's always a plus), and there were silly games with someone teaching magic tricks.
Now i can happily go out and bluff some innocent girls.
The other was comforting a friend at his place. and drinking. AGAIN. oh yea, to my dear friend. Case you're reading this. I'd dedicate this song to you Monty Python - Always look on the bright side of life. (will post ASAP/can get the mp3 from me).
And get over her. She's not worth your time.
2. I have resolved NOT to get into a relationship.(why do i hear some of you laughing...)
When it comes to girls, I have a IQ equivalent of a happy green bean.
Can't tell if the girl is trying to play hard to get or if they are genuinely, not interested.
Which sucks.
If i remember correctly. The last girl i tried to pick up gave me a cardio-vascular workout enough to last me for a week. My heart was beating till it almost fell out of my ribs. If u need exercise, you can be my guest.
3. Door mats are GAY.
When i say gay, i mean gay. As in happy-gay not gay-gay.
The last doormat i remember had a big "WELCOME" ALL OVER IT.( after being stepped on for the billionth time. I even stomped on it to make sure.)
It just carried on smiling happily and said "WELCOME".
It didn't ask me to " GO BUGGER OFF" or "GO STOMP ON YOURSELF" after i stomped on it and dragged my feet all over.
It just happily said "WELCOME" even after some more people stepped over it.
What bollocks.
I've decided; they're gay.
Okay. Three 's good. =) can't keep too many. Three is hard to keep already.
have a merry christmas.
(Simply because you only have to keep them for one silly month. and because new year ones never work.)
Here are my christmas resolutions:
1. Stop coming home at 3AM.
Been coming home at 3AM in the morning, if there's any good that actually does. It screws up your bio-clock, which in turn reduces your metabolic rate by a good 10% and makes u FAaAT.
AND Unless you're like somone i know who actually PRAYED to be fat. ho hum.
I never really wanted to come back at 3AM. One was a BBQ party with friends. Which was pretty ace cuz there was Alchohol(that's always a plus), and there were silly games with someone teaching magic tricks.
Now i can happily go out and bluff some innocent girls.
The other was comforting a friend at his place. and drinking. AGAIN. oh yea, to my dear friend. Case you're reading this. I'd dedicate this song to you Monty Python - Always look on the bright side of life. (will post ASAP/can get the mp3 from me).
And get over her. She's not worth your time.
2. I have resolved NOT to get into a relationship.(why do i hear some of you laughing...)
When it comes to girls, I have a IQ equivalent of a happy green bean.
Can't tell if the girl is trying to play hard to get or if they are genuinely, not interested.
Which sucks.
If i remember correctly. The last girl i tried to pick up gave me a cardio-vascular workout enough to last me for a week. My heart was beating till it almost fell out of my ribs. If u need exercise, you can be my guest.
3. Door mats are GAY.
When i say gay, i mean gay. As in happy-gay not gay-gay.
The last doormat i remember had a big "WELCOME" ALL OVER IT.( after being stepped on for the billionth time. I even stomped on it to make sure.)
It just carried on smiling happily and said "WELCOME".
It didn't ask me to " GO BUGGER OFF" or "GO STOMP ON YOURSELF" after i stomped on it and dragged my feet all over.
It just happily said "WELCOME" even after some more people stepped over it.
What bollocks.
I've decided; they're gay.
Okay. Three 's good. =) can't keep too many. Three is hard to keep already.
have a merry christmas.
posted by Jon Lame at 6:22 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home