Lost.

Humans are vessels. the containers of emotions, thoughts, dreams... Beliefs.

My innermost thoughts: To lose myself.

Why? i ask myself. Because i want To make space for other things in my life.
Isn't there enough space for evrything. I realise not.

its painful cuz.... you've spent all your life. Trying so hard to be unique, trying so hard to be different. trying to be that someone, that you never really were... just wishing that u would be.

And all of a sudden. you have to lose yourself. to wash all that ego and selfishness down the drain, just because arrogance has ingrained itself so deeply within you, it hurts to rip it out.

One thing i've realised. is that i've grown to be like my dad. Which is something i might not like.
Its not that he's bad or anything. He's just nice.Well.. i don't know.

when you've lost yourself, you start to panic in search of all the fallen pieces. Doing things u crave, or running off to do something. In hopes of gluing the broken shards of your life together.
Wats the point. i ask myself. of making myself someone, when at the end of the day.... Death is going to equalize us all. Everybody has to die someday. The unique, the impaired, the pretty, the ugly, blown away like dandelions in the breeze.

But the difference i realise.. is the life u lived. The tiny pathetic unnoticeable dash between the dates on a tombstone. While some pple continue to walk in our lifes even after they've left. Others just fade off.... like the breath on a mirror.

I just wished it be easier. then again...
I guess... i... turn in for now. its late.

jon.